I’m so hungry but my dad could be up at any minute and I don’t want him to know I’m awake

allons-brie:

AU where we’re all well rested and everyone loves their job

(via thehalfbloodasian)

fucking voix tho like

you may be privileged in every possible way but you also don’t know what a blowjob is so who’s the real winner here

demisnowflake:

secretjewsanta:

superrumblegalaxy:

"How could there have been an orgy at Dashcon, every kid on tumblr needs at least 10 minutes just to explain their sexual orientation"

"I’m asexual, but I really like having sex. I’m also queer, but am only attracted to the opposite sex and…Why are you laughing?"

"I’m demisexual and i don’t know any of you, but an hour in the ball pit may be enough to form a deep emotional bond if you know what i hey where are you going?"

(via uzuisafuckingpansage)

16 Plays

I’ve wanted to do another audio work for a long time, but I couldn’t figure out what to read. Yesterday, going through my old stuff, I found the solution. I present to you…

A Dramatic Reading Of The Fanfiction I Wrote About My Best Friend And The Guy She Was Dating At The Time.

metaknighty:

today a 4 foot tall freshman in an angry birds t shirt pushed me out of the way because he “has an honors class to get to move peasant” 

(Source: rhinse, via foilepeesaber)

hellabloggin:

american horror story: talking to people u used to be friends with

(via foilepeesaber)

wreckedteens:

I’m the type of person who would call someone from the opposite side of the house into my room just to ask them to pick up something that’s barley 2 feet away from me

(via foilepeesaber)

asking-laughingjack:

wolfysblog:

asking-laughingjack:

scoutregimentkarkat:

davestriderhatesstrexcorp:

unfollovving:

get-in-the-animus:

unfollovving:

IS THIS TRUE????

As an American I can confirm that this is 1776% true. Some places will even fine you for not eating fried chicken for a week


 ???  ??????  ?????????????? ?????????????????????? ?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?

IM AMERICAN AND IVE NEVER EATEN MCDONALDS IM SO SCARED

damn u gonna die son

I AM SCARED I HATE MCDONALD’S AND I AMERICAN …. AM I GOING TO BE KILLED? WILL SOMEONE HIDE ME! IT’S BEEN 3 YEARS SINCE I’VE PUT ONE OF THOSE NASTY ASS BURGERS IN MY MOUTH…
SEND HELP

*sign written in random alleys near my house.*
I harbor mcdonalds fugitives. You may call me Sonchez. If you find me you will live. Find me in the center of Bluffton. Yell out the mcdonalds jingle while in town and if I hear you I will approach you and ask for help finding my dog Pablo.
As a secrecy employee of mcdonalds I can make it look like everyone in the house has been eating mcdonalds for centuries. Find your safe haven.

OH GOD OH GOD I WILL FIND YOU. THANK YOU

asking-laughingjack:

wolfysblog:

asking-laughingjack:

scoutregimentkarkat:

davestriderhatesstrexcorp:

unfollovving:

get-in-the-animus:

unfollovving:

IS THIS TRUE????

As an American I can confirm that this is 1776% true. Some places will even fine you for not eating fried chicken for a week

image



 ??? image


 ?????? image


 ?????????????? image


?????????????????????? image


?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?

IM AMERICAN AND IVE NEVER EATEN MCDONALDS IM SO SCARED

damn u gonna die son

I AM SCARED I HATE MCDONALD’S AND I AMERICAN …. AM I GOING TO BE KILLED? WILL SOMEONE HIDE ME! IT’S BEEN 3 YEARS SINCE I’VE PUT ONE OF THOSE NASTY ASS BURGERS IN MY MOUTH…


SEND HELP

*sign written in random alleys near my house.*

I harbor mcdonalds fugitives. You may call me Sonchez. If you find me you will live. Find me in the center of Bluffton. Yell out the mcdonalds jingle while in town and if I hear you I will approach you and ask for help finding my dog Pablo.

As a secrecy employee of mcdonalds I can make it look like everyone in the house has been eating mcdonalds for centuries. Find your safe haven.

OH GOD OH GOD I WILL FIND YOU. THANK YOU

(via mydarlingthyla)

I’m pretty sure my aunt just laid the fucking smackdown on my dad I’m so happy

tridentfreak:

lordrobotnik:

nickbutt:

i swear to god

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat…

someone really drew this

(via uzuisafuckingpansage)